Sometimes when people hear about what the Lord is doing in our family they make a statement: “I could never do that.” The truth is that without Him, we can’t either. Sometimes we stride, sometimes we stumble, but always the ground is taken one step at a time. When I’m struggling, the best thing for me to do is to pick up my pen and journal. There’s something about putting my thoughts down on paper that makes it easier to sort the good from the bad. The Spirit led me to let you peek at one of my rough spots as a big hug when the path ahead seems difficult. It may not always be easy, but He is always good. When my heart lifts its gaze up from the rocks in the way, I can see His rainbow of love over my life again.
Friday, November 16th, 2012
Lord, it hit me tonight so quickly that it almost took my breath away: [In this moment,] I don’t want to go. All these changes, all the work of this year-long goodbye. Letters, prayer cards, friend-raising, presentations, decluttering, de-stuffing, rent or sell?, storing, packing, decision-making. Prayer.
Come be with me, Daddy. Hold my hand. Wait, it’s clinging to my kitchen counter with all its strength. Peel back the fingers, lovingly, one by one, and fill them with Yourself. Help me again to want what You want. To trust the plans You have for our family. Give me kisses for orphan faces, momma-bear hugs for their hurts, and laughter for their antics. Give me tender wisdom to guide team members out of their comfort zones and warm grace to welcome them in as friends. Give me Your love for them all, and for myself. Wrap me up in it. Your banner over me is love. You are good, and like David in the waiting, I will trust in You. Let my soul glorify the Lord.
I lift up my eyes to the mountains –
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip –
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The Lord watches over you –
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm –
he will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and for evermore. Psalm 121